Learn to Listen Listen Listen!!! Especially to your Children.
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
~Franklin P. Jones
God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Some said this is because listening is twice as difficult and important as talking. Listen more than your speak and listen actively is not as easy as it sounds.
Parents do the talking most of the time, they like to lecture, preach, scold and nag and worst still, ignore the children who try to talk to them. How many times have you heard the following phrase!
- Listen to me, When I’m talking, you better listen!
- Did you hear what I just said? Which part did you not get it?
Some children have difficulty expressing their emotions and needs. By listening attentively to the children, the parents will be able to figure the message they are trying to communicate.
It is often uncomfortable to listen to other’s opinion, especially if the one talking is your superior, spouse or even your child, more over you happen to be wrong. At times parents think the children speak too much and babbling away and miss out the important information.
Why we need to learn to listen:-
- Listening is always the first step in solving problems.
- Listening builds closer relationships.
- Listening shows understanding and respect.
If you want your children to listen to you, you will need to first listen to them. To be a good speaker, we have to first learn to listen. To talk to your children, you have to be a good listener. Listening carefully is the key how you gather information about what is happening in your children’s mind.
A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. ~Robert Brault
The keys to improve your listening skills:
· Listen first.
· Always listen.
· Use body language
· Be Available
· Acknowledge
Listen First
Listen first, and listen well, be silent and listen before reacting. Practice counting from 1 to 10 before you react
Always Listen
These days most parents are busy all the time as their To-do list is pretty long. Parents should learn to spend some time with their children and listen to them.
The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day – O. A. Battista
Your children does not need to wait for a perfect moment to tell you about what happen today and why they were punished for their misbehaviour act in school today. Sometimes children will be too scared to tell you something vital and when you are least prepared, the info will slip out on its own.
Body Language
Use good eye contact and remember to ask relevant questions. Knee down if you are talking to toddlers and look into their eye when you speak.
Be Available
You may be busy in the kitchen or driving on the road, lots of things in your mind that are distracting you from listening attentively to your children. Stop what you are doing. Sit down with your children and do nothing when they talk. Let them feel that it is important moment for them to talk and that you are always available for them.
If you haven’t time to respond to a tug at your pants leg, your schedule is too crowded. ~Robert Brault.
Acknowledge that you are listening
Use phrases that encourage them to continue talking. “Please tell me more.” “What else happen?” “Do go on.” “How do you feel about it?” What do you wish you could do?” “What do you think will happen if you do that?”
In conclusion
Listening helps parents and children to have better communication and bonding. Instead of scolding or disagreeing, just listen to what your children have to say!
Hope we are ready to listen to our children now ! Lend them our listening ears when they ask for our attention and they are more likely to show us the same courtesy in return.
Enjoy Listening!
Your partner throughout your pregnancy and parenting journey,
Pitter Patter Editor
