Three Important New Roles for the Father when the Baby Arrives
By Dr Goh Chee Leong
Psychologist, HELP University & Director of HELP International School
PhD in Psychology (University of Otago, New Zealand)
HELP University and HELP International School
Role #1: The helper
Ensuring the health and well-being of the mother is an integral part of fatherhood. In most families, mothers are the ones that suddenly have to bear the bulk of the new set of responsibilities that come with the baby. This can leave them exhausted and overwhelmed. Being with the baby 24 hours a day is physically and emotionally draining. It is the husband’s role to ensure their wives have enough rest and some time away from the child every week so that they can recharge.
Role #2: The nurturer
It used to be that the father never played a direct role in parenting; he was supposed to just go and earn the money to support family. Many people used to believe that only mothers had the nurturing instinct and, as such, fathers were side-lined when it came to parenting.
Thankfully, conventional thinking has changed and now most developmental psychologists will tell you that both mother and father have important roles to play in the life of the young child – fathers can be just as loving and nurturing with their children as mothers.
I think the most important thing for fathers to remember is that your relationship with your child is very important and will have a great impact on both your lives.
Start building this bond from the very beginning. Set aside quality time everyday to spend with your new infant. Carry them so that they’re used to your touch; talk to them so that they’re used to the sound of your voice; nurture them so that they feel safe around you.
Role #3: The tour guide
We live in an amazing and fascinating world. Perhaps the greatest gift a parent can give their child is the world.
As your child grows up, your job as a father should be to help them explore the world around them, rather than restrict them to a small corner of it.
Whether it is exploring nature or new cities, towns and countries, new experiences or new cultures, your job as a father is to show them just how big and exciting this world can be. This, more than anything, will prepare them to be global citizens who can succeed and adapt no matter where they are.
